I Fought the Jar

My vanquished enemy.

My CH (Cute Husband(TM)) and I usually have something quick for breakfast due to a desire to remain in bed as long as possible. We don't want food preparation to steal away precious snooze time so making English muffins with jam this morning was quite the production.

The experience was complicated by the fact that the very large jar of strawberry jam my husband had purchased roundly refused to surrender its sticky contents. After making the usual entreaties (tapping the lid, opening with a rubber lid gripper thingy, enlisting the aid of my stronger CH), war had to be declared as the jar's armor could not be penetrated using conventional methods.

I prepared my weapon (a butter knife) and set about battering its fortifications. It took three severe attacks, each followed by intense applications of torque, before it finally gave up and I could apply its goo to the now cold muffins. I won the battle, but it won the war as the jam within was rather sub-par and unfitting spoils for such a glorious victory. It was a very stiff rubbery plug at the top. Nonetheless, a stab to the heart and a vigorous stirring the likes of which I'm sure that jar will never forget pummeled it into a spreadable state. Victory is mine.