Wednesday, November 26, 2008


If you follow any blog for any period of time, you'll see that the frequency of posts sometimes drop off and then the excuses start popping up. I'm not one for offering such excuses because I don't feel obliged in any way to keep blogging. The fact of the matter is that I've often had things to say as of late, but have felt unable to say them. I offer an explanation of the situation not as an excuse, but rather as a bookmark in my personal history to tell myself what has been going on.

As of late, I've been experiencing more issues with my back than I had been and it's been draining my energy. Unless you've lived with pain day-in and day-out for years, you can't imagine the toll it can take on your ability to live a full life. Enduring pain, even when it's low-grade or bearable, taxes you in ways those who have not been in such a situation can't imagine.

Imagine a normal person's daily stamina as a fully inflated tire that loses air as the day goes on and refills to full capacity each morning after a night's rest. A person who is in pain everyday not only loses air at a faster rate, but finds that the tire never fully inflates no matter how much rest they get. This is because the pain represents a few extra holes allowing air to escape which make full inflation impossible no matter how hard you try to pump air into it.

As of late, I've felt like my tire has been near flat all the time and it's been difficult to raise the energy to type out my thoughts. It just feels like it's not worth the expenditure in effort when I have other things to do which are more immediate. Hopefully, this will pass and I'll be back to normal soon. One can hope.


Helen said...

Can I just say thanks for this post? As you may know from my blog my husband also suffers from chronic back pain. He's not the easiest person to live with when he's in pain and it's hard for me to understand why.

Your explanation about the tire helps me understand (at least a little bit) what it's like for him and you.

Thank you.

Orchid64 said...

I must say your comment caught me by surprise, and I appreciate it! I had forgotten that your husband also suffers from chronic back pain. I'm glad that this helped you understand his situation a little better. I just wish that your poor husband wasn't in such a state as well.

Take care and you're very welcome. :-)

Joseph said...

really sorry to hear about your suffering. I've rarely experienced such back pain, but when I have (for very limited periods of time, up to four days), it's dominated my waking hours, thus I can kind of understand how you must be feeling. May the pain ease soon.

Emsk said...

Oh no, back pain is a nightmare, and it's apparently hard to detect as well (unless you have it, of course!). I'm sure you've already thought of this, but have you tried yoga?

When we're not in pain it's hard to imagine how nigh-on impossible it is to function in pain. I woke up the other morning with a tummy ache and I felt wretched - so much so that I took the morning off work!

Get well soon!

PS Get well soon to Mr. Helen as well!

Kelly said...

Did you hurt your back doing something?

I hope you can find some relief soon. I'm a reiki healer and my husband sometimes suffers with back pain as a result of his work, standing on his feet for 14 hours per day...the reiki helps ease the pain quite alot. I also find the occasional massage is quite beneficial for him, i took a massage course so i can help ease his pain without him paying the high costs of an outside masseuse.

Hope you start feeling a little bit better soon.

Orchid64 said...

The situation with my back is quite complex. It started when I was 12 years old. I remember going to a chiropractor for treatment, but I don't remember exactly why. For years, I was okay after that, but then I fell off of my bike in Tokyo about 15 years ago and had all sorts of problems since. I was told there's a congenital defect in my spine and that's probably what caused the issues when I was a child. I think that age, poor fitness (a problem which is exacerbated by pain - exercising makes more pain, stop exercising, less pain, poorer fitness, exercise again, more pain, etc.), and this problem have resulted in my current condition.

I still exercise now, but it's very difficult. I feel like Sisypus when it comes to dealing with my back. I sometimes get massages from my husband, but it's mainly palliative. Things are getting better, but it's cyclical.